Thursday, August 14, 2008

Best horticulture joke ever OR you totally had to be there...

Ok, back in the day- and seriously this was at least 4 years ago... I was working in a garden center in downtown Chicago with some seriously fab, know-it-all, young, hot chicks...like myself. One being the Divine Krista Dwiggins, degree in plant sciences and Swedish sister and the other, the much Googled, Josie Lawlor, much like the Antelope calf born on it's legs and ready to flee a pride of hungry lions- Josie was born to hort. The 3 of us are the all blonde Charlie's Angels of horticulture. If I do say so myself...

So customers that didn't know a Dahlia from a Digtalis would come in and just ask dumb questions, seriously just to pimp us. And we almost always would come out on top, even if we had to make something up (I think that might have just been me). So when a snarky, repeat customer kept coming in and asking for Creeping Dogwood, but not having any other information about said plant- we figured he was making it up. We'd never heard of it.

Months went by and he'd come in and pester one of us about it, but if we asked him if it flowered or if it was good for our zone, he backed off completely. Which only backed up the case that he was a total hoser.

So months go by and Krista tacks this page from LeBible de Dirr (Manual of Woody Landscape Plants by Michael Dirr) with a note (which I still have someplace but I made a recreation for your sake) to the effect "It really does exist!!" and she underlined the passage you see underlined here...


So Josie and I get to work the next day and we're reading it like it's fried chicken and we're late to the picnic. And I read to the bottom and say, "What the #&%# is a hummock???" Josie, straight faced says, DRUM ROLL PLEASE... "You don't know what a hummock is? we have them in Maine- they are like a low mound of earth but they are filled with peat moss and other decaying plants".



It was super funny and you had to be there for that part.



NOW COMES THE FUNNY PART.



Like, 4 months later. After all this is long forgotten. Us girls are invited to an all hort girl Halloween party- Josie is late....
Here is her costume.

you get it? She came as a hummock! huh? A hummock!