Kiss My Social Skills

Alright. The older I get the more I feel like I can pawn my awkward social skills off on being a "creative" person....Yeah man, I can get away with being "flaky", "eccentric" and "goofy" because I can come up with a kick ass Ryan Gosling in the garden meme, right?

One time I ran into my sister, who I lived with at the time, at the grocery store and it was totally awkward because I just hadn't planned on seeing her there. I just didn't know how to act. It's getting worse, by the years, and not easier.

I'm starting to make "personal appearances" and such to promote my book that's coming out this December. Now, don't let me awkwardness fool you, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE meeting people. I'm just either "ON!" or total focus zombie, off doing something else in my brain. Like figuring out how to make a tomato cage into a chandelier (true story!).  Here are some helpful hints for if we're going to run into each other:

  • If we are friends on Facebook or Twitter, I will probably know your name. However, unless you look EXACTLY like you do in your photo, I won't be able to figure you out from across a room or anything....
  • I buy clothing I love, and then wear it all together at the same time. This makes me very.... easy to pick out of a crowd. Also, I'm large, loud and have these trademark glasses.... If you look like a normal human adult, I won't figure you out from across a room or anything.....
  • I tend to cling to one person more than enjoy a total fiesta. So if you see me in a chaotic setting, ask me to go smoke in the ladies' room with you. I totes don't smoke, but it's a good code for "we are cool and everyone else drools. let's go talk about the sticker books we had in the 80s"
I'll be at the Independent Garden Center Show in Chicago's glorious Navy Pier on Tuesday August 21st from 4-6. Wednesday from 10-12 at the Storey Publishing Booth #2819 giving away and applying Kiss My Aster temporary tattoos. Stop by and scare the shit out of me.