Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Let It Begin: Planting Season 2017 Pep Talk

You might have killed a few plants in the past, maybe a lot of plants. You might think you have a thumb that is a color that’s incongruous with the rest of your body. You’re quite positive that gardening isn’t for you, it’s for old people that have time to dote and keep demanding greenery alive. It breaks your heart that you’ve killed every houseplant ever, even the “indestructible” ones. You tried to start seeds once but it ended in death and lots and lots of mold.


I’m here to tell you, real gardeners kill shit all the time. I, myself, have killed 8 things today and it’s only 10AM and it's February. The difference between you and a freaking FULL-TIME FARMER is that they didn’t give up and you backed down pretty quickly.
Now, I don’t mean to point a finger, I mean to pump you up so that you feel the need to germinate again. All you need is to…
  1. Let’s try looking at dead and dying plants in a different way
  2. Try, try again. Don’t be a quitter.
  3. Some advice on finding the right plants for you that isn’t too complicated. Talk to an actual salesperson that knows what's what.
  4. Understand that we’re all a generation or 2 away from people that grew all their food and it’s really in your genes to get back to growing stuff


Let’s start with #1...
When you compost (that’s the act of helping nature make decayed organic matter that one can use as fertilizer), every plant you kill becomes new life (fertilizer) for other plants that aren’t demanding little asshats. That’s right, if a plant wants to mess with you and let you down, they get thrown in a pile and eventually get fed to plants that think YOU ARE AWESOME and play by your rules.
What part of this doesn’t sound great to you? You’re the boss of your yard. YOU.

Your yard, your rules!

My guess is that you were missing the whole “compost” link in this chain and now the pieces are all coming together. Am I right? You were never to blame, gardening hasn’t been aimed at people like you for a long time, so bonus points to you for even trying in the first place. Now you are going to start your metamorphosis into a badass gardener that makes everything green by just sneezing on it.
And if it doesn’t work out, you just compost it.

You’ve got this.